Today’s one-minute sketch is of Mexico’s favorite leader! Before Pedro, people voted for Benito. He ousted the French, and served five terms as President. Benito was also the only full-blooded indigenous Zapotec to ever hold the top office! He’s, like, the coolest Mexican dude other than Santo.
Okay, on Friday I lied. I said that Shabba was, like, the ugliest dude ever. That’s bullsh*t. The title of fugliest f*cker in the universe rightfully belongs to Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England – he was a mighty sh*t-kicker, and had equally mighty warts!
After f*cking up and being forced to be a farmer, Cromwell got some sweet cizzo from a dead uncle, was reinstated to the hobknob set, became a member of Parliament, joined the “Roundheads,” gaked the King, and then set himself up as boss playa in December, 1653!
He proceeded to kick the sh*t out of Scotland and Ireland too. He was succeeded by his son Richard – but Dick turned out to be a p*ssy. The crown was reinstated shortly after. Game over.
Special Friday Extra-Bonus Sketch!
Meet the ugliest man ever, Rexton Rawlston Fernando Gordon a.k.a. Mr. Loverman, Shabba Ranks!
Shabba enjoys long walks on the beach, ridin de riddims and advocating for the public crucifixion of gay folk.
Friday’s one-minute sketch is of the second-best player of the dead-ball era, Honus Wagner! Who was the best? Ty Cobb.
But, a mint condition 1909 Honus tobacco card is the “Mona Lisa” of baseball memorabilia! He didn’t like that the cards were encouraging kids to buy cigarettes so he demanded that his be withdrawn from the promotion!
Only 50 or 60 are believed to exist!
Cochise (to keep it real, pronounce it like K’uu-ch’ish) was a bad-ass Apache Chief! First, the Mexicans tried to f*ck with him, then the cracker-ass crackers. Cochise was captured, like, three times and always escaped! Despite all of the sh*t disturbing that went down, Cochise died quietly of natural causes. Unlike the Apache Chief on Superfriends, Cochise could not grow to giant proportions – but believe you me, was no less mighty in battle (unless you bring a howitzer).
Here’s today’s fast sketch of everyone’s favorite real-life mad scientist Nikola Tesla!!! Big up!
Here’s my one-minute sketch from Monday of English novelist, journalist, and sociologist H.G. Wells!
