Oliver Cromwell

Okay, on Friday I lied. I said that Shabba was, like, the ugliest dude ever. That’s bullsh*t. The title of fugliest f*cker in the universe rightfully belongs to Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of the Commonwealth of England – he was a mighty sh*t-kicker, and had equally mighty warts!

After f*cking up and being forced to be a farmer, Cromwell got some sweet cizzo from a dead uncle, was reinstated to the hobknob set, became a member of Parliament, joined the “Roundheads,” gaked the King, and then set himself up as boss playa in December, 1653!

He proceeded to kick the sh*t out of Scotland and Ireland too. He was succeeded by his son Richard – but Dick turned out to be a p*ssy. The crown was reinstated shortly after. Game over.

Oliver Cromwell – Lord Protector of England

Published in: on July 30, 2007 at 2:58 pm  Comments (2)  

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Hah! Brilliant as usual. I have no love for this historical figure. It was this man that caused my family to lose their lands in Ireland and ultimately lead to their emigration to England.

    Evil bastard, he was.

  2. You draw warts very well.

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