Jacques Heim

Jacques Heim is one of coolest mu’f*ckers ever. Why? ‘Cuz he invented the mu’f*ckin’ bikini. As a result, the majority of my teenaged bonerials on the beaches of Florida where I grew up were thanks to this man’s work!

Heim introduced the bikini in Paris on July 25, 1946 – a day that needs to be recognized annually.

All women should be made to wear bikinis on that day – even Eskimo women!  Fat and octogenarian women may be excused, unless they have really awesome round boobie boobs.

Anyway. . . I , like, snapped into my own ‘Nam there for a sec. Sorry.

Heim named the piece after Bikini Atoll, a site used for nuclear weapon testing just a few days before. Heim knew that the burst of excitement the bikini would cause in pubescent boys would be akin to the nuclear device!

Jacques Heim

Published in: on October 30, 2007 at 2:25 pm  Leave a Comment  

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